The Overview

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A view, a different view

View on relationships

I’ve listened to, read, heard about and myself experienced the wondrous thing called inter-human relationships. The most common aspect in most of the stories is that they start off wonderfull but after a certain point the relationship goes awry most likely ending in tears and pain. Most know the story, you find that special someone, fall madly in love, spend some time together – be it days / months / years – only to find yourself after that period wondering what has happened, or what you were thinking, before starting on a journey to the exact same thing with somebody else.

It seems we believe, or should i say that we like to believe, that things will forever be the same, and we can just pluck out of our minds any thought about changes to ourselves or what is happening around us. We actively refuse to believe that the person we are with, with whom we are so in love, may only be with us for a short period of time, just as long as they have to or want to. We pride ourselves with this endeavor claiming we are living the moment, carpe diem as they say. But what we are actually doing is just being egocentric, finding something that makes us feel fuzzy inside and then just pretending it belongs to us, that it is ours and we deserve it. Truth be told, nobody deserves somebody else. If someone decides to share his or her life with you, he does so by their own consent and not because they owe you something or because they are bound to you. They just choose to do so. Like they can choose to end that relationship

Of course most people like to dependent on others, to be depended on and as well to make others be dependent of them. And go to great extents to achieve this. This is common in almost any relationships, be they friends, lovers, family ties or anything else. We use a sofisticated web varying from words to actions and feelings to make others feel that they need to stand alongside us. Some of these methods create make people feel good while others make them suffer, but the purpose is still the same. We just like having servants around us.

It’s obvious that this kind of interaction is bound to be short live, as it does not actually have the interest of all the parties involved in mind. Each one just follows it’s own instinct and will to get it’s needs satisfied ussually just limiting him/her-self to that.

The most funny thing is that this is valid for each of the persons involved. So in a typical relationship both the man and the woman each have different needs they try to fulfill by actively using the  other one, and in most cases without actively expressing this intent. The hurting comes from this difference in what we say and what we do. Basically we are not sincere, which is something that is quite obvious to everyone living in the modern world. The worst thing is that we are not even sincere to our own selves. What I mean to say is that we don’t even admit to ourselves that we want to use the person next to us just for our own purposes, let alone to the person in question. Why don’t we do that ? Because we would judge ourselves for doing that. We would see ourselves as a bad guy manipulating others around us for our whims. And we block that out,  as our consciousness cannot deal with a negative image of ourselves; we have to be the good guy, at least in our minds. Ironically, by denying what we want to do we end up doing exactly that, and motivate it by blaming others for any incovenience we experience.

Aren’t we just wonderful ?

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Filed under: Of Mice and Men

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